{"title":"Retirement Cards","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe alarm clock finally loses. Cards to send someone off into the good life. Ships from Whitefish, Montana.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"happy-retirement-fucking-quitter-card","title":"Fucking Quitter - Retirement Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor the coworker who finally did it. Front reads: \"Happy retirement, fucking quitter.\" Affectionate, a little envious, and exactly how most goodbyes feel. Blank inside.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA2 size (4.25 x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100 lb uncoated cardstock\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBlank inside\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eKraft envelope included\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePackaged in a cello sleeve\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"As Told By Ellie","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46929046798489,"sku":"YAY007","price":5.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0720\/5083\/5609\/files\/Happy_Retirement_fucking_quitter.jpg?v=1780899078"},{"product_id":"spouse-should-go-back-to-work-greeting-card","title":"Back To Work - Retirement Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor whoever is working from home a little too comfortably. A relatable, funny card that says what a lot of people are quietly thinking. Blank inside.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA2 size (4.25 x 5.5\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted on thick cardstock\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBlank inside\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhite envelope included\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePackaged in a crystal clear sleeve\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Ink \u0026 Attitude Stationery Company LLC","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46945262665881,"sku":"INK210","price":5.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0720\/5083\/5609\/files\/1f6d99e8b99986e1a0f1c0630751023c29a588a9d5ee2bbe024f4ec1b6e29109.png?v=1776022804"},{"product_id":"wheelbarrow-retirement-greeting-card-4-5-x-6-25","title":"Love Your New Office - Retirement Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eTheir new office has no meetings, no fluorescent lights, and one wheelbarrow. A funny retirement card for the coworker or friend trading deadlines for garden beds. An easy pick for office farewells and retirement parties.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted in the USA on recycled textured paper with vegetable-based inks\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eColor-coordinated envelope made of recycled paper\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePackaged in cello jacket\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Calypso Cards","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47030439936153,"sku":"CC2299","price":5.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0720\/5083\/5609\/files\/cc071e524d25bb908a6cd4009b6de96e7dc8ed89bd4b49674a9805e7a552905d.jpg?v=1777618293"},{"product_id":"card-happy-on-a-monday","title":"Happy on a Monday - Retirement Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhat do you call someone who's happy on a Monday? Retired. A funny retirement card for the coworker, friend, or parent finally leaving the grind behind. Snarky enough to get a laugh, true enough to sting a little.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBlank inside\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDimensions: 4.25\" x 5.5\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMatte-finished greeting card\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSleeved with envelope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Ohh Deer","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47071141593241,"sku":"9835","price":5.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0720\/5083\/5609\/files\/Happy_on_a_Monday_-_Retirement_Card_page1.png?v=1781662155"},{"product_id":"funny-retirement-card-retirement-gifts-handmade-in-usa","title":"Not A 'You' Problem Anymore - Retirement Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhatever it was, it is officially not their problem anymore. A retirement card for the coworker who earned the right to stop caring.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDetails:\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e5x7 inches (A7)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBlank inside for your own message\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eEnvelope included\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eShips from The Ruddy Duck in Whitefish, Montana.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Greeting Cards by Katie Doodle \u0026 Gifts by Matchbox Card Co","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47908999528601,"sku":"KAGL1128GC0507DC-H-YOUPROB","price":5.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0720\/5083\/5609\/files\/9a49d1d8b8f5dfd8812bc28fdf9568b2adf4c528d5d61a49f1ed917b2b011f41.jpg?v=1781468492"}],"url":"https:\/\/theruddyduck.com\/collections\/retirement-cards.oembed","provider":"The Ruddy Duck ","version":"1.0","type":"link"}